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A Test of Wills

Heidi Hahn, William Hahn
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

His co worker Freddie tells construction worker Will, "Just in a good mood."
Will: "What'd you start smoking crystal meth over the weekend?"
Freddie: "That's what I'm in a good mood about."
"A wonder I didn't end up in the nut house with that kind of shit going on all those years."
Will: "Dude, that's crazy." (0:03)

His wife Andy tells Will, "Okay, psycho, I'm sorry you got all that from my tone."
Will: "... completely retarded."
"I... like an idiot, clicked on it, and it accidentally downloaded."
"That's just really depressing."
"Yeah, if you can't find me, I'll be down in the basement hanging from an extension cord." (0:10)

Will cannot seem to start writing. He hears a woman's voice: "I'm a narcissistic egomaniac with an addiction to victimhood... and I hear voices in my head." (0:17)

Will tells Freddie, "You're going to keep up with this line of conversation I'm gonna be walking into traffic in about five seconds."
Freddie: "Like, uh, West Side Story...?"
"What, are you hearing things?"
Referring to his dancer friend Cherry: "She's got a pair of funbags that'll drive you insane, man."
Will: "Are you out of your mind?"
Freddie tells the waitress, referring to Will, "He's retarded. I pick him up at the state hospital once a month..."
Will: "... what makes you think Cherry is so obsessed with yours?"
Freddie: "You're nuts."
"... maybe her uncle molested her..."
Will: "It's very depressing." (0:20)

In his play Will's character Tori tells her husband Adam, "You ugly, dark hearted, degenerate freak... I had no idea what kind of a perverted little monster you really are."
Will tells Tori, "I'm walking around my own house like a convicted pedophile."
Will tells Adam, "Man, you are a moron." (0:37)

Will tells Tori, "Clam up, psycho."
"It's like you're this psychological archer..."
"... and take Rain Man here with you." (0:44)

Andy asks Will, "So what's with the freak out?"
Will: "Well, It's a little passive-aggressive..."
"I'm just crazy." (0:49)

Will tells Lori, "... if something like that turns you on, you're on the road to pedophilia."
Lori: "I'm attacking the male ego and its obsession with the penis as an emblem..."
Will: "It's simply a defense mechanism because you're an egomaniac..."
Lori: "You morons really don't realize that this shit is just mind control?" (0:53)

Will asks his imaginary 'porn girl,' "Am I going crazy?" (0:58)

Andy tells Will, "Now you just sound completely confused on top of being crazy." (1:03)

Freddie tells Will, referring to Freddie's girlfriend, "It's like she's got PSM seven days a week."
Will: "PMS."
"It's PMS."
"It would stand for Pre Syndrome Menstrual and therefore be... idiotic."
Freddie: "I explain to her that she's just a little nervous, right?... just making her a little nuts."
"It's because you're easily confused."
Will: "She didn't kill herself?"
"You're like some... mental defective kid." (1:08)

Lori tells Adam, "You're a lunatic. You need pills." (1:15)

Porno Girl tells Will, referring to Adam, "If I have to listen to one more... minute of that mealy mouth sexless crybaby shit, I'm gonna shoot myself with a gun in the mouth."
She mimics doing so. (1:22)