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OC87: The Obsessive Compulsive, Major Depression, Bipolar, Asperger's Movie

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Cast
Buddy Clayman
Released
2010
Bradford Clayman
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Mentally ill film maker Bradford "Buddy" Clayman: "My OCD tells me that I must control every thought and every action perfectly, and what I've learned in OCD treatment is that nobody gets perfection... Asperger's makes life very difficult for me... social disorder... really feel anxious... Therapist says to take care of that inner child..." (0:00)

Buddy: "I had major depression right there... I wanted to make a film about recovery... I've had major depression, bipolar disorder... they can recover from a mental illness. They don't have to recover fully... if they take their medications, if they have a great therapist, even a good therapist..." (0:03)

Buddy: "People think that OCD is basically washing your hands or contamination, or checking... other kinds of compulsions... harm OCD... thoughts... that you might act out on... anxiety... you think you're going to act out... My therapist says he wants me to challenge that OCD..." (0:04)

Buddy's mother Lila: "He'd already had the beginngs of a breakdown."
Buddy: "I remember... feeling very suicidal."
Lila: "Papers and debris almost knee high..."
Buddy: "and then I went to my therapist... " (0:06)

Lila: "Dad was in the mid Atlantic state of denial... spoke to the first psychiatrist... ex-husband does not accept... mental illness..." (0:13)

Buddy: "Listen to the therapist... Remember what the therapist said... Who is this nut case?... Listen to the therapist... The therapist will say just live with the risk..." (0:15) 

Buddy: "The OCD person is in their head." (0:17)

Buddy displays his massively overstuffed wallet. (0:22)

Buddy: "For an obsessive compulsive this is very bad... called intrusive thoughts."
Psychotherapist Jonathan displays his pocket knife: "I use it in therapy a lot... Here's how I use it in therapy. This will make you nervous. Can we make you nervous?"
Buddy: "I'm getting very nervous..."
Jonathan: "... I would sit in therapy."
"I'm a little nuts."
"This is the exposure."
Buddy: "I'm getting nervous."
Jonathan: "I can learn to be nervous and still function... Somebody without OCD..." (0:25)

Buddy: "I got... major depression... residential treatment... 8 years."
Former patient Linda: "Everyone has their own definition of... recovery... I see recovery as... always at risk for relapse... Amy when you think of recovery..." (0:29)

Buddy: "I had depression..." (0:33)

Jonathan: "In Asperger's the content of words ends up being more powerful... the person with Asperger's does not read emotional expression... people who don't have Asperger's..."
"This is a place where the OC starts to overlap the Asperger's. If it If it was just the Asperger's you'd be uncomfortable... if we switch to OCD... obsessive compulsive disorder there are obsessions. and compulsions. An obsession is... The compulsion is... If I have mental obsessions I can have mental compulsions too, where... mental compulsion for you would be if you're worried... anxious feeling... if you looked as anxious as you feel..." (0:37)

Buddy's mentor Jon: "Somebody without Asperger's would have understood..." (0:48)

Buddy: "I've been on a long journey so far in my recovery with mental illness..." (0:49)

Buddy: "I wanted to hear his take on harm OCD..."
Reporter Jeff: "My OCD has always been about what I might... do... to harm somebody. Classic OCD harm situation... is... nagging intrusive thought... like all forms of OCD... "
Buddy: "spirituality... coping with OCD?"
Jeff "If I can find something that is bigger than OCD... anxiety... leverage to not perform compulsions... metaphor I use..." (0:50)

Buddy: "... Sonny has has bipolar disorder."
"Maurice talks openly about his bipolar disorder to tackle the stigma of mental illness... both had a breakdown..."
Actor Maurice: "They thought... alcoholism, drugs... breakdown..."
Buddy: "Do you think the bipolar was affected by that?"
Maurice: "The bipolar, whatever chemical imbalance I had... ego..."
"You have to find the right psychiatrist... stay on your medication... Every time I've gone off medication I've had a breakdown."
"They know Dad is bipolar... Once I had that breakdown it was like a floodgate."
Buddy: "I was nervous." (0:54)

Former patient Rachel: "When I think of OCD... germs..."
Buddy: "For me the most difficult OCD... acting on inappropriate thoughts..."
"That's the hardest OCD to talk about." (1:00)

Buddy: "One of the therapists... gratitude letter..."
Man: "What's the hardest thing to understand about Buddy's mental illness?" (1:05)

Buddy: "Very nervous... I get paranoid... The therapist says I can do it... It's probably just a projection... therapist says... fears of the OCD..." (1:12)

Buddy: "As the therapists have said... have some boundaries..."
Buddy: "My therapist says I'm a good person."
"I have self esteem..." (1:21)

Buddy: "It's really helped a lot with my obsessive compulsive thinking too." (1:27)