Back to top

The Love Guru

Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Ben Kingsley, Meagan Good, Verne Troyer, Jessica Simpson, Romany Malco, Omid Djalili, Telma Hopkins, Kanye West, Deepak Chopra, Stephen Colbert
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Sports commentator Jay: "... I'd like to start by thanking... the fans who supported me... during my recent addiction to peyote button and Frangelico." (0:01)

Guru Pitka asks hockey team owner Jane, "Have you read my book on the grieving process?" (0:20)

Poster: The Dragon Hockey player Jacques tells Pitka, "The Wolverine." (0:27)

Hockey player Darren tells Pitka, "You're an idiot." (0:29)

Pitka tells Darren, "We must... regress you back to your childhood..." (0:30)

Coach Punch tells Rob: "What a freaking idiot." (0:34)

Pitka: "Coach Cherkov... I know you have a meeting with the Lollipop Guild." (0:40)

Darren tells Pitka, referring to Darren's mother, "She freaks me out." (0:40)

Darren tells Pitka, "This ain't Driving Miss Daisy, man..." (0:41)

Pitka tells Darren, "You're like prison bitch jumpy"
"Okay, there are two ways to regress you." (0:43)

Pitka tells Darren, "I'm regressing you."
"You have been regressed."
"It was at this point that I realized my student was finally shedding his defenses." (0:44)

Commentator, referring to spectators: "They are guru crazy." (1:00)

Dick tells Jane, "Now if any of your other players have any professional catastrophe, personal pain, or a drug addiction, please do not hesitate to call." (1:02)

Commentator Trent tells Jay, "You're back on drugs, aren't you?" (1:04)

Trent: "Roanoke is freaking out." (1:05)

Punch smokes a hookah. (1:20)