DJ Danny makes a hand gesture of pistol in mouth; thumb (as hammer) goes down. (0:07)
DJ Alan tells his radio audience, "That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts Fleetwood Mac." (0:14)
Alan tells his assistant Lynn, "More of an assisted suicide really." (0:16)
DJ Dave tells Alan’s “sidekick” DJ Simon: "Cocaine... Cocaine, prostitutes... Yeah, I was withdrawing."
"And if you've ever done any horse..."
"No, no, I mean heroin."
Simon: "No, I've not done heroin." (0:17)
Alan tells Lynn, "She's a drunk racist... when I'm pissed." (0:19)
Alan tells a police constable, "I'm a bit nervous." (0:22)
Scotland Yard representative Martin asks Alan, "Do you suffer from any nervous conditions such as panic attacks?"
Alan: "Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? I've had one panic attack in a car wash."
"I'm just a little nervous about going into a car wash." (0:24)
Alan tells the hostages, "The point is Pat has not gone mad."
"Pat may have gone mad. He may have gone mad." (0:33)
Alan tells Martin, "Listen, I don't know what it says in... 'Psychobabble Weekly.'"
Alan tells the others, "Back in the day I was emceeing a conference for Reynard Pharmaceuticals... But high on a cocktail... " (0:34)
Pat tells Simon and Alan, referring to a photo of his wife Molly, "A year after that was taken the angels took her." (0:42)
Alan tells Pat, referring to country music, "It's just jilted spouses complaining whilst drunk." (0:44)
Alan tells the others, referring to the station security guard, "Michael suffers from night terrors." (0:50)
Alan tells the SWAT team, referring to Pat, "He's honking in my ear like a mad Irish goose."
He tells them inside the building "It's scary, stressful... and there's a crazy person running around with a gun..." (0:52)
Voice on television: "Erectile dysfunction." (0:56)
Alan shows Angela "Just your basic disabled loo... panic cord... "
Angela: "Alan, you didn't bring me in here to talk about disabled toilet facilities, did you?"
Alan: "It's when I'm anxious." (0:56)
Pat tells Alan, referring to Simon, "I can't believe you left me with this nutcase." (1:05)
Pat tells Alan , "I brought Molly to this pier. I scattered her ashes here. Buried at sea."
Pat, holding his shotgun with the muzzle in his mouth: "I want to be with Molly."
Alan: "You... idiot."
Alan asks Lynn, "We had some mad time, didn't we Lynn?" 1:19