Cher, referring to boys, "They're just like these nervous creatures..." (0:04)
Teacher Mr. Hall ask the class, "Any further insights?"
Student: "I have insight, Mr. Hall."
Student Cher: "Mr. Hall, the buzz on Christian is that his parents have joint custody."
Mr. Hall, referring to student Travis as he stops his attempted defenestratation: "And could the suicide attempts please be postponed 'til the next period?" (0:05)
Cher's ex-stepbrother Josh reads a biography of Friedrich Nietzsche. (0:15)
Cher tells Mr. Hall, "Well, I am such a retard." (0:17)
New student Tai tells Cher and her friend Dionne, "Man, I'm freakin'."(0:22)
Tai tells Cher and Dionne, referring to Travis, "Straight off, right, he offers me some smoke."
Cher: "Are you talking about drugs?"
"It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day."
"Loadies generally hang on the grassy knoll..." (0:25)
Josh tells Cher, referring to Tai, "And... so you're acting out on that poor girl like she was your Barbie doll."
Cher: "Freshman psych rears its ugly head."
Josh, "Hey, I am not taking psych." (0:28)
Tai tells Cher, "See that almost destroyed my buzz."
Cher: "I'm still baked." (0:35)
Cher tells Elton, referring to Tai, "If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay." (0:37)
Cher: "I felt really nervous." (0:45)
Cher: "And, like, we're expected to swoon?" (0:47)
Cher, referring to her litigator father Mel, "His clerks and Josh came to help him go through a gazillion depositions." (0:51)
Cher; "I know it sounds mental, but..." (0:59)
On television Ren of Ren & Stimpy: "Be quiet you idiot." (1:00)
Cher: "Christian had a thing for Tony Curtis, so he brought over Some Like It Hot and Sparatacus." (1:03)
Cher: "What am I stressing about?... I'm... crazy in love with Josh." (1:18)
Josh tells Cher, "You look confused." (1:19)
Mel tells Cher, "Well obviously this boy is a complete moron." (1:20)
Travis donates a water pipe to the relief drive. He makes amends to Cher and tells her, "It's one of my steps. See I joined this club, and there are these steps."
Travis: "Yeah, 12." (1:24)
Tai tells Cher, "I'm the 'tard here." (1:25)
Mel's law clerk asks Cher, "What are you, some kind of idiot?"
He tells Josh, "I'm gonna get killed 'cause she's a moron."
Josh: "She's not a moron." (1:27)