Clip of Dr. Joyce Brothers on television in 1960. (0:01)
Patient Lopez stands on a ledge preparing to jump to his death.
Lawrence tells the aids, "... I thought I told you to beef up his dose of Thorazine."
Inmate John tells Lawrence, "You're having a private therapy session."
Lopez tells John, "To hell with it. I'm jumping." (0:03)
His wife Vera tells radio psychiatrist George, "You're a psychiatrist."
"George, I really think this is one of your worst depressions."
George: "I'm not depressed."
Vera: "What about your radio show and your patients?" (0:07)
John asks the aides, "When did you... first feel the burning need to assist the mentally handicapped?" (0:08)
John tells a phone caller, referring to Lawrence, "No, as a patient."
John tells Lawrence, "I'm a pathological misfit with delusions of grandeur. I think Jung said it best, or perhaps it was from "The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness" by Erich Fromm.
Lawrence: "... you were able to convince a bleeding-heart warden that you were crazy. Well, I know you're not crazy." (0:09)
George tells his lawyer Harvey, "I did not have a nervous breakdown, and I did not try to kill myself. I'm simply a man who, under a lot of stress took a few too many Valium.
Waiter Kleven: "I was living in one of those depressing apartments in North Hollywood."
Lawrence: "I'm under a tremendous amount of stress." (0:11)
Harvey's assistant Perry tells Harvey, referring to Lawrence, "He's chief psychiatrist... mental facility..." (0:15)
John in a straitjacket tells Lawrence, "You convinced them you were crazy."
Lawrence: "A self-destructive need to defy authority... They've got this endorphin research going on at Stateville Sanitarium."
"Plenty of long needles and heavy sedation. Trouble is they need maximum-risk psychopathic patients." (0:16)
Harvey tells John by telephone, "I'm the attorney for the Greater Los Angeles Neuropsychiatric Society." (0:18)
Lawrence's secretary Robin tells John, "You're crazy." (0:21)
John, pretending to be another staff member, says into the microphone, referring to Lawrence, "Baird's up with the... catatonics." (0:23)
Psychologist Laura tells John, referring to street person Donald, "If he's lucky, L.A. County Psychiatric."
John: "He's not crazy."
Laura: "That's a pretty speedy diagnosis, doctor."
John: "Antisocial behavior..." (0:30)
John tells Harvey, "You go and find a psychiatrist with my qualifications..."
Harvey: "Your practice... consists of a couple of wards of indigent psychotics..." (0:33)
Radio announcer: "... discuss your problems with qualified psychiatrists." (0:38)
John tells a caller "... these hidden feelings can come up out of your psyche..." (0:41)
John reads a commercial message: "... can help with counseling..." (0:41)
John tells listeners, "But if... you... cannot afford therapy..." (0:45)
Psychiatrist Dr. Smet tells John, referring to Donald, "We had to sedate him."
John: "... whack it with a thousand mikes of chlortianazine?" (0:46)
John tells Donald, grabbing his prescription bottle away from him, "Before you get to mellow, give me the rest of those drugs."
Donald: "That's my pills, my maintenance dose... I won't be able to watch regular TV without drugs." (0:47)
Donald tells John about his ancestors "known as the Klephthes, hence, kleptomaniacs." (0:49)
Police officer tells John, "Some shrink named Baird offered free therapy on the radio..."
Donald steals every pen he can find.
John: "Thank you very much, patients, for coming to our free therapy session today... all therapy and treatment today is absolutely free... Penis envy? Come on now. Penis envy?... Penis envy?... Nymphomaniacs? Nymphomaniacs... all other forms of obsessive-compulsive behavior... schizophrenics. Actually schizophrenics you get to choose between one and six..."
John invites Perry to the section for those "who have a compulsive need to brown-nose."
John tells a joke on the bus: "Guy goes to a shrink...Shrink says..."
Patient Susan relates her dream to John.
Donald tells psychologist Laura, "Speaking of nuts..."
"You a shrink? I don't care much for shrinks." (0:50)
Harvey asks Perry, "What does a syndicated shrink show mean...?
John: "Over here... are my patients." (0:55)
John, on the air: "... therapy time..."
"... you should seek... counseling..."
John asks a caller, "You got any T.M. Experience?" (0:57)
George refuses to tell Vera the name of a patient citing "patient confidentiality." (0:59)
Harvey suggests that John write a "shrink's diet book." (1:01)
Donald tells John, "I finally found a place I fit in as well as I do the nut house." (1:04)
John tells Laura, "Neo-Pavlovian rackoff technique for immediate stress relief." (1:06)
A man at the registration desk tells George the fee for the "the Paleo-Jungian luncheon." (1:06)
Donald lies on a tombstone in a cemetery. (1:13)
Lawrence tells George, "They went through my bag like I was some kind of a drug dealer..." (1:14)
Speaker conference attendees "the true paranoid is the one..."
John tells the audience how George "has made therapy a household name... 'Why does therapy have to take such a long time?'... short time... just as well in a long-time..."
Lawrence: "I'm a legitimate psychiatrist, and this is a legitimate psychaitrist's dinner!"
John: "Be a psychiatrist." (1:17)
Donald shown on television preparing to jump to his death. (1:22)
TV reporter: "That was... noted radio psychiatrist." (1:23)
Donald tells John, "I just wanted you to watch me jump."
John tells Donald the pants were "Size 38 crazy." (1:26)
Reporter describes "... rescue of a deranged patient by radio psychiatrist... another... psychiatrist."
Lawrence wearing a straitjacket in a padded room: "I'm a qualified... psychiatrist."
Dr. Smet: "Up his Thorazine to 500 mg."
"How many psychiatrists we're getting these days." (1:30)
Donald tells John, "You really are crazy."
John: "There are worse things than being crazy." (1:35)