Crazy, Stupid, Love

Babysitter Jesssica Riley tells young Robbie Weaver, "... you little maniac..." (0:01)

Robbie’s mother Emily tells his father Cal, "... I slept with someone..." (0:03)

Her friend Liz tells Robbie’s sister Hannah, "... probably married that human Valium... I worry about you..." 
”... you’ve resorted to fantasizing...” 
Hannah tells Jacob Palmer, ”I TiVoed Saw III.” (0:06)

Cal tells Jessica, "... I know your dad’s really proud..." 
Jessica, referring to Emily: ”... I think she’s batshit crazy...” (0:09)

Cal tells another bar patron, "... My wife is having intercourse with someone who is not me..." (0:11)

Jacob tells Cal, "I think I’m having a midlife crisis... Can women have midlife crises?..." 
”... I really went to see the new Twilight movie by myself.” (0:14)

Cal tells Jessica’s father Bernie, "... Don’t even worry about it..." (0:16)

Jacob Palmer tells Cal, "... you’re getting drunk on..." (0:19)

Liz tells Hannah, "... That shit’s depressing." (0:24)

Cal asks Jacob, "Are you insane?" (0:25)

Jacob asks Cal, "... What, you passing out?"
Cal appears to lose consciousness. (0:39)

Cal tells Jacob, “... thank you for the ego boost..." 
Jacob: ”Ever see Karate Kid?” (0:40)

Kate tells Cal, "I’m five years sober." 
Cal: ”... teacher with an alcohol dependency...” (0:42)

Teacher Kate tells Cal, "I love that you’re being so honest." 
”Honest or not?” 
Cal: ”That’s honest.” 
”I’m a little worried that you have AIDS... I’m not worried.” (0:44)

Robbie: "Nathaniel Hawthorne, are you mad?" (0:50)

Cal tells Emily, referring to Hannah, "... She worries about us." (0:55)

Kate tells Emily and Cal, "... as in someone who uses honesty to get a woman into bed... he’s nervous..." 
Cal, referring to Kate: ”... She’s an alcoholic.” 
Kate: ”I’m sober five years...” (0:59)

Richard tells Hannah, "I’m so proud of you, baby..." (1:02)

Hanna tells her lawyer friend Richard, "Don’t be silly..." (1:03)

Hanna tells Jacob, "I’m very nervous." 
”... I know I seemed confident...” 
”... I get really drunk, and then I pass out...” 
Jacob: ”I work Dirty Dancing into the conversation.” 
Hannah: ”Dirty Dancing?” 
”Why Dirty Dancing?...” 
”Thank God I’m drunk...” (1:07)

Jacob asks Hannah, "Were you smart in school?" 
”Will you do me a kindness?” 
”My mom is... very smart...” 
Referring to his father: ”... He died a long time ago. He was such a sweet guy. He was probably too sweet...” (1:13)

Her coworker David Lindhagen tells Emily, "... always dreamt of playing shortstop..." (1:16)

Jessica, referring to Emily: "Batshit crazy." (1:19)

By telephone, Cal tells Jacob, "... don’t worry about tonight..." (1:25)

Her mother Claire tells Jessica, referring to Cal, "... That man’s a pervert." 
”Is that pervert sexting you?” (1:27)

Robbie tells Emily, "... don’t worry about it." (1:28)

Bernie punches Jacob in the head. 
Bernie tells Cal, ”I’m gonna beat you until your brains fall out.” 
Jacob punches David in the face. (1:30)

Hannah tells Jacob, "... obesity." (1:35)

Jacob tells Cal, "... the way that they were behaving..." (1:39)

Cal tells the audience, referring to Robbie’s speech, "... it was headed in a... depressing way..." (1:45)

Emily tells Robbie, "Oh, I’m so proud of you." (1:48)