Half Baked

His friend lights a joint for young Thurgood Jenkins. The boys share the joint.
Thurgood, narrating: ”... I will never forget the first time I smoked that sweet, sweet cheeba.”
”I’ve heard people say they don’t get high the first time they smoke... We were really, really high.” (0:01)

Thurgood and Kenny see objects as larger than their actual size.
Brian: "Am I goin’ crazy?"
Thurgood: ”We look at that day as the day we met the fifth member of our crew: marijuana. Oh, lord, we was hooked.”
Kenny slams his head into a door. (0:02)

Janitor Thurgood: "... I work at this lab, Frankincense and Burr Pharmaceutical. They do pharmaceutical testing for the government..."
”Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead.”
”Kenny... he’s a weedhead and all... does wonders for those children’s self-esteem.”
”Brian... perfect job for a stoner.” (0:03)

Thurgood: "Now as far as herb goes, you can get it all over this town... It takes a lot of... weed naps."
Sign: ”Frankincense and Burr Pharmaceutical Corporation”
”... the weed ain’t bad.” (0:04)

Thurgood tells the store clerks, "Let me get four dime bags."
”Jose, you crazy, man. He crazy.”
Referring to the Rastas: ”... their stuff ain’t even weed most of the time.”
Referring to drug dealer Samson Simpson: ”You can get anything you want, from weed to heroin. Now I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed.” (0:05)

Thurgood asks a drug dealer, "What, did you go to weed college?" (0:06)

Thurgood tells his roommates, "Dope has arrived, fellas."
Smoking paraphernalia
All four friends smoke using a hookah. (0:06)

Brian, referring to a man using a hookah on television: "This guy is weed crazy."
Thurgood: ”He got the same dealer as us.” (0:10)

School teacher Kenny Davis asks the police, "Why must you rage?" (0:12)

Kenny: "My weed’s wearing off." (0:13)

Brian tells Thurgood and Scarface, "We are worried, man." (0:13)

Mary Jane Potman answers Thurgood, "Possession of narcotics. My father’s a drug dealer."
Thurgood: ”I don’t do drugs. Drugs make me sick... Up with hope, down with dope.”
Brian: ”Toke up before we go to work.”
Mary Jane: ”My grandmother died of lung cancer.”
Brian: ”Well, that’s all the more reason to toke up, man.” (0:16)

Thurgood tells Brian and Scarface, "Hey, guys, shut up about the weed for two seconds..." (0:18)

Thurgood: "I smell weed, man." (0:20)

A woman tells Thurgood, handing him a package, "One pound of marijuana..." (0:21)

Scientist: "The Food and Drug Administration are having us do a study to determine what, if any, are the medicinal purposes of marijuana." (0:22)

Thurgood tells Brian and Scarface, "You know, I got some weed at work today..."
Scarface: ”I’ll get Billy Bong Thornton.”
Brian: ”No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny... Use Wesley Pipes.”
Thurgood lights a pipe and passes it to Scarface. (0:22)

Thurgood: "... this weed was the shiz-nittle-bam snip-snap-sack." (0:25)

Scarface tells Thurgood and Brian, "Weed, man. We’ll sell weed."
Thurgood: ”Man, you can’t up and decide to sell weed.”
”Look, I’m not stealin’ weed. We are not sellin’ weed.” (0:26)

Voice: "Marijuana affects the memory."
Thurgood tells Brian and Scarface, ”We’re not drug dealers.” (0:28)

Thurgood: "... stapled samples of our weed on the back of our business cards." (0:29)

Scarface tells Kenny, "We gonna sell weed, yo."
Kenny: ”Yeah, great, weed...” (0:30)

Thurgood: "Damn, this weed is good." (0:32)

Thurgood: "All our money was tied up in our drug dealing venture." (0:34)

Mary Jane tells Thurgood, "Drug dealers belong in jail."
”Marijuana.”
Thurgood: ”Four years just for weed?”
Mary Jane: ”Marijuana is terrible. It’s a gateway drug.”
”You don’t smoke weed, do you?”
Thurgood: ”I mean, do I look like somebody that would smoke... marijuana?”
Mary Jane: ”... swear on this banana split that you don’t do marijuana.” (0:35)

Thurgood: "I was hooked on Mary Jane." (0:37)

Thurgood, referring to a customer: "He’s what we call an enhancement smoker, ‘cause he thinks marijuana makes every activity that much better."
The customer asks Scarface, ”Did you ever see Scent of a Woman?”
”You ever seen Scent of a Woman on weed?... It’s just whacked.”
”Did you ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed?”
Scarface: ”Many, you’re... crazy, yo.”
Customer: ”It’s really trippy, especially on weed, man.” (0:37)

Thurgood: "A scavenger smoker is someone who never has weed of their own..." (0:38)

Man: "Let me inhale it. Let me hit some."
Thurgood: ”... just one hit... Can’t even smoke weed in peace.”
Man: ”I haven’t hit the mother...”
”I just stopped smokin’ yesterday.” (0:39)

Thurgood: "They love talkin’ about the old days, back when weed was grass."
Man, referring to cops: ”Hell, they was gettin’ high too... It was the thing to do because it got you high.” (0:39)

Thurgood, referring to young man lighting a bong: "He spends all of his allowance on reefer... his father... is tokin’ up..." (0:40)

Thurgood: "... because we’re stealin’ the weed, not buying it, it was all profit." (0:40)

Brian tells customers, "Don’t worry. Don’t worry... Flip out, man." (0:41)

Thurgood, referring to Jan: "... she was willing to work for weed." (0:42)

Sir Smoka Lot tells Thurgood, "Come on, weed man."
”Love weed. Um, let me get a pound of your sweetest cheeba.”
Thurgood, handling a package: ”Somethin’ told me to bring a lot of weed, man. Pound of my sweetest cheeba.”
Smoka Lot: ”I got weed. I got my bong out.”
”I’m impotent, man.”
Thurgood: ”Call me next week, about weed, about weed.” (0:43)

Thurgood, referring to Mary Jane: "When I was with her, I didn’t even think about weed." (0:44)

Thurgood tells Scarface and Brian, "We’re not drug dealers, remember?"
Scarface shares a joint with Thurgood.
Thurgood: ”This weed is fantastic.” (0:46)

Thurgood: "We kept pluggin’ away with the weed deliveries... She believes weed, and only weed, brings out the artist in her."
Thurgood tells her, ”You must seek therapy.” (0:48)

Thurgood: "The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around, especially when it comes to reefer."
MacGyver stoner: ”Trust me, bro, I’ve made bongs with less.” (0:49)

Thurgood: "And then you got your straight up potheads. You can spot these people by their lack of motivation, mood swings, forgetfulness... We ain’t no goddamn potheads... Then you have the avid nonsmoker... call up and place an order, knowing they don’t smoke weed... when you get there, they’re all mad that it’s you selling weed."
Thurgood asks Mary Jane, ”You smoke weed?” (0:49)

One of his girls tells Samson, referring to Smoke-a-Lot, "I would imagine he’s some sort of drug dealer." (0:51)

Thurgood tells Mary Jane, "I can’t quit sellin’ it yet, but I’ll quit smokin’ it..."
”I”m gonna be clean. I’m gonna be sober. There’s no more weed...” (0:53)

Thurgood: "Man, that first day of sobriety sucked... I was a real irritable guy when I wasn’t smokin’ marijuana. I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about gettin’ high." (0:54)

Sign at support group meeting: "REHAB"
”I’m here today because I’m addicted... to marijuana.”
Group member: ”You in here for some marijuana? Marijuana?”
Another group member: ”Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke.”
”Now that’s an addiction, man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?” (0:54)

Thurgood relapses: "I gotta smoke. I have got to smoke." (0:57)

Brian tells the others, referring to pet dog Killer, "He called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out, and then in a rage, he collapsed..."
Thurgood tells Brian and Scarface, ”... you two smoke entirely too much reefer.” (0:58)

Thurgood tells Brian, "You have smoked yourself retarded." (1:00)

Thurgood tell Brian and Scarface, "... grab all the weed you can grab..." (1:04)

Thurgood tells Scarface, "I smoke weed in here all the time." (1:05)

Thurgood and Scarface enter a storage room with shelves full of packaged marijuana.
Thurgood: ”I never seen this much weed in my life.” (1:06)

Thurgood answers two police detectives: "Well, I heard he’s got great weed..."
Brian: ”Great weed.” (1:07)

Detective: "... buy whatever narcotics he’s got around."
Thurgood: ”I mean, we haven’t smoked any weed today, man.”
Thurgood shares his joint. (1:08)

Thurgood: "You know, it ain’t alway good to get high before you have important things to do..." (1:10)

Brian asks Samson, "Do you know where we can score some cocaine?"
”... it’d be great if we could get some cocaine.”
Thurgood, referring to a package: ”Pure cocaine.”
Scarface: ”This is all the cocaine we get...?”
Thurgood: ”Oh, like more cocaine?”
Scarface: ”Looks like heroin to me, you.”
Thurgood: ”Is that heroin?”
Samson: ”You’ve got to be the dumbest dealer in the history of the dope game.”
Thurgood: ”Jesse, can we get some cocaine...?”
Thurgood: ”Can I buy some of your heroin, too?”
”Thank you very much for the heroin and the cocaine.”
Thurgood tells Samson, ”Nigga, I thought you said you was crippled.”
Samson: ”We’re all crippled in some way.”
Jerry Garcia strikes Samson on the head with his guitar, rendering him unconscious. (1:10)

Brian tells the detectives, "You guys are wasted, man." (1:15)

Thurgood, holding a joint, tells Mary Jane, "I’m done sellin’ it. I’m done smokin’ it." (1:16)

Thurgood: "I love weed..." (1:17)

Dave Chappelle: "If you want to learn more about marijuana or other illegal substances, go to your local library." (1:21)