Rolling Kansas

Title: "Somewhere. Out there. Is a big ass forest of weed. -Thomas Edison" (0:00)

Hippie man with large marijuana cigarette (blunt?) (0:00)

Hunter Bullette collapses.
Student: "He has narcolepsy: sleeping disease.” (0:02)

Title: “GOOFY BOOTS N. (GUF’ E BUTZ) 1. POT. 2. WEED. 3. DOOFY BOOTS”
David Murphy tells his friend Kevin Haub, "We gotta come up with a better name for our weed." (0:03)

David holds a marijuana cigarette.
Seacow or Fatty: ”Hey, you guys know where we can get any weed?”
David’s brother Dinkadoo Murphy: ”Hey, you guys know where we can get any weed?”
Hunter: ”Your parents were stoners?”
David: ”... They found the earth garden, a... government marijuana test site...”
”So that pot leaf represents a magical forest of marijuana.” (0:04)

His business partner Bill tells Dick, referring to the booger, "... it represents the detoxification of the social elite in America." (0:09)

Dave’s message to Dick: "I say we... cut down a shitload of weed and sell it." (0:10)

Dave tells the others, "We will be... harvesting... hundred upon hundreds of pounds of marijuana... all the while keeping an eye for /node/25480 aircraft..."
Dave: ”Dink, there was an exact schedule of DEA surveillance in that envelope.”
Kevin Haub: ”How do we know the weed’s still there though?” (0:10)

Hunter collapses. (0:14, 0:38)

Dinkadoo Murphy: "... no one else would want to spend time with a little crippled boy" (0:14)

Dick tells Kevin: "Here I am worried about us being pulled over for littering..." (0:17)

Kevin asks clerk Dot, "Are you aware that you don’t have any handicapped facilities outside the establishment?"
Dot: ”I didn’t realize that you were disabled...”
Dot: ”Also, some enraged farmer has stolen your wheelchair.” (0:17)

David tells Dink, referring to the wheelchair, "... it was stolen by drunken farmers..." (0:20)

Dick tells the trooper, referring to Hunter, "He has narcolepsy."
Trooper: ”He, like, has sex with the deceased?” (0:25)

Dink tells the farmer, referring to Hunter, "He has a sleeping disease, sir." (0:41)

Dave: "Now don’t worry, Dick..." (0:43)

Dick: "I don’t see a magical forest of marijuana...
”Dink, you’re worried about a bunny rabbit. You, you’re worrying about emotionally compensating for smushing a bunny..." (0:44)

Oldman: "Hey fellas, before you snort that hard shit, would you like to get stoned? I've got a good stick of reefer in here?" (0:49)

Dink, holding a joint: ”Yeah, this is some sweet smelling weed.”
Dave: ”You must have a pretty fat batch to roll a joint like this, Oldman.”
Oldman: ”Indica sensimilla.” (0:49)

Dick: "Well, I don’t see a magical forest of marijuana yet."
A marijuana tree falls on the car. (0:51)

Oldman: "We weren’t growing recreational marijuana... it was for medical research..." (0:53)

Dink faints when he sees the troopers. (0:56)

Dave: "Nobody panic... What if we stash the weed and come back later."
Dink: ”Our weed is packed with trunk.”
Dave: ”We’ll find a field and stash the dope.” (0:58)

Trooper: "This ain’t Kansas, Dorothy." (1:00)

Dink tells the troopers, "I am disabled and cannot walk."
Trooper: ”Help that disabled boy.”
Trooper: ”... the suspect built an entire vehicle out of marijuana.” (1:01)

Dick: "I’m glad the marijuana’s not here." (1:06)

Kevin: "Sorry about the magical forest of marijuana, Dick." (1:08)

Dick: "Every person that buys one of those T-shirts will have a chance to see Oldman’s magical forest of marijuana..." (1:10)

Agent Brinkley: "DEA"
Title: ”ADDICTED TO DANGER”
Brinkley tells Dick, ”You’re killing me drug lord.”
Kevin: ”Are you guys here to purchase a map of the magical marijuana forest?”
Brinkley asks Dave, ”... huh, druggie?”
Brinkley tells Kevin, ”Button it, weed worm.”
Kevin: ”Weed worm. How cool.”
Brinkley tells David, ”It was a rhetorical question, bong boy...”
Agent Madsen: ”We can’t stop you from selling your little T-shirts with a schematic of a fancy weed garden in Kansas... your magical forest of marijuana.”
David: ”I wanted the shirts to say marijuana nirvana.”
Madsen: ”... the arrest... of every single weed... We at the DEA don’t intend to let that happen. We’re gonna cut the head off the dope snake...”
Kevin: ”Are we the dope snake or the people that buy the shirts, are they the dope snake?”
Brinkley: ”... alright reefer freaks?” (1:12)

Brinkley: "Don’t... even dream about owning... property in Kansas..."
Brinkley asks David, ”Are we clear, you less than cool disciple of Jim Morrison?” (1:18)

Title: "DISCOVERED CURE FOR NARCOLEPSY..."
Sign: ”WEEDWORM’S LAST CHANCE GAS” (1:20)