The Guide to the Perfect Family

Le Guide de la famille parfaite

Parent at meeting: "That’s crazy."
”My niece’s school has a trans student.” (0:00)

Young Mathis tells his parents Marie-Soleil Blouin and insurance executive Martin Dubois, "I had a bad dream." (0:05)

Radio announcer: "It was quite the emotional ride last night...."
Mother on televisioin: ”It’s every parent’s dream...”
Martin asks Marie-Soleil, ”My sleeping pills too?” (0:06)

Martin’s coworker Fred tells Martin, referring to Fred’s son Pierre-Luc, "I worry this contract will damage your rapport, and he’ll quit." (0:12)

By text, Marie-Soleil tells Martin, referring to Mathis, "He may have a concussion." (0:13)

Pierre-Luc asks Martin, "What’s with the panic."
Martin: ”There’s no panic.”
Pierre-Luc: ”You’re being kind of passive-aggressive and dumping your stress on me.”
Martin: ”Even Tom Cruise wakes up some days and say, ‘Ugh, not Mission: Impossible again.’” (0:13)

His brother Stephane tells Martin, referring to his child, "He gets anxious..."
”We’re not gonna put him on meds.” (0:19)

Marie-Soleil, referring to Mathis: "They think it’s probably dysphasia or dyspraxia..."
Martin’s sister-in-law: ”Don’t worry.”
”Don’t worry about first grade.”
”School is where workaholics park their kids these days.”
Martin, referring to his daughter Rose: ”We invented a system to keep her motivated...” (0:19)

Martin tells Rose’s principal, "... we devised a little system to motivate her..."
”In her locker we also found THC candy, Xanax and other pills she traded for tests. In case you’ve been looking for your sleeping pills.”
The principal shows prescription bottles to Martin. (0:24)

Martin tells Rose, "You'll be seen as a liar, a cheater, a junkie..."
”And the drugs? Why drugs?... Don’t tell me drugs help you get better grades.”
Rose: “Maybe because when I’m stoned, I don’t give a shit...” (0:26)

Martin tells Rose’s mother Caroline, throwing her a prescription bottle, “Your Ativan."
”A dream come true...” (0:29)

A mother tells Marie-Soleil, “That’ll mean years of therapy.” (0:36)

Martin’s father tells Martin, "Fear is a damn good motivator.
Stephane: ”It doesn’t mean hitting is okay.”
Martin: ”What did you call them, slaps on the head?"
”Let me remind you that Rose got caught with dope at school.”
Stephane: ”Yes, at 16 you smoked dope too.”
Father: ”Your kid smokes in your house, and you shrug it off? You’re nuts.” (0:36)

The psychotherapist tells Caroline and Martin, "Rose is a very intelligent girl. We talked a lot about... her trouble sleeping, loss of appetite... anxiety and low self-esteem..."
”Rose’s symptoms are typical of depression, a depression due to anxiety, specifically performance anxiety.”
Martin: ”Depression?... You don’t get depressed at 16.”
Caroline: ”... depression can hit at any age.”
Martin tells Caroline, ”You’re an expert on depression.”
Psychotherapist: ”... she should probably take meds for her anxiety.”
”She already self-medicates with cannabis.”
Martin: ”It’s my parents’ fault... It’s like an endless chain. You pass it on...” (0:38)

Marie-Soleil: "... let’s lighten the mood."
Martin tells Rose, ”The therapist said you have a lot on your mind.”
Rose: ”You could stop talking to me like I’m a moron.” (0:43)

Martin wears a card: ”HITLER.” (0:47)

Marie-Soleil tells another mom, "Things are tense at home."
Instructor: ”Now, we’ll take all our frustration and direct it into the paper ball.” (0:47)

Martin tells two coworkers, "We’re seeing a therapist."
Coworker, referring to his son: ”He smokes... a lot... too much... pot. He takes antidepressants, sleeping pills.”
”... but my wife thinks he has an internet addiction. She worries he might do something dumb if left alone.”
Female coworker: ”Are you sure Rose doesn’t have ADD?”
”My daughter had anxiety and couldn’t concentrate. I put her on Concerta, and she’s doing better.” (0:50)

Rose tells her mother , "... I’d be crazy to turn it down." (0:52)

Martin tells Caroline, "Look, don’t freak out. I’m getting her assessed by a neuropsychologist to see if she has ADD."
”It would explain her moodiness...”
”If she’s diagnosed, she can go on Concerta.”
Caroline: ”Concerta?”
Martin: ”Yeah, concerta. Steve Jobs... had ADD...”
Caroline: ”Stuff her with pills...” (0:53)

Martin tells Marie-Soleil, "You have a fecal fixation."
Martin reads: ”Don’t worry about the state of your teen’s room... keep a diary of your emotions... They’re crazy.”
Marie-Soleil: ”If you were open-minded, you’d admit they’re good suggestions.”
Mathis: ”I had a bad dream.” (0:57)

Rose tells Martin, "Don’t worry." (1:02)

Rose: "Dad, you and uncle Stephane were insane." (1:06)

Rose tells Martin, "If you’re grouchy, I’ll use my phone."
”You’re stressing me out.” (1:09)

Marie-Soleil asks Martin, "Why do I spend my days reading about child development?"
”I come across as nuts.”
”i’m in parental burnout.” (1:18)

Rose tells Caroline, "I’m burned out from my finals." (1:23)

Fred tells Marin, referring to Pierre-Luc, ".... he was diagnosed with ADD, and he’s doing better." (1:23)

Caroline finds Rose unconscious. (1:30)

By telephone, Caroline tells Martin, referring to Rose, "She took my pills." (1:30)

Parent: “Losing creates enough frustration.” (1:34)

Would you consider this family dysfunctional?