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My Zinc Bed

Uma Thurman, Jonathan Pryce, Paddy Considine, Neg Dupree, Mat Curtis, Helen Mallon, Lisa McDonald
Adolf Hitler | cocaine | ethyl alcohol
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Entrepreneur Victor tells writer Paul, “I’m not an exhibitionist, no.”
”’Hello, my name is Paul, I’m an alcoholic.’”
”I’m interested in the meetings.”
Paul: “I go to meetings, yes.”
”Obviously you’re not alcoholic.”
”Meetings are a discipline.”
Victor: “They wouldn’t be addictive if they weren’t.”
Paul: “I think it’s really stupid calling AA a cult.”
”I don’t need to question the value of AA.”
Victor: “One drink, one drunk... I mean if you’d cured your own addiction in the privacy of your own home, you could perfectly well drink socially again.”
Paul: “My God, you don’t go to that ridiculous AA, do you?”
”Most of the people who attack AA are usually 10 time more fucked up than the people they’re attacking.”
”My aim is to get to bed sober tonight. That’s my aim, and I’ve found pragmatically that the only means of achieving it’s through AA.”
Victor: “It’s only groups which demand total abstinence.”
Paul: “Of course I went into AA kicking and screaming.”
Victor: “Presumably you’d bottomed.”
Paul: “Anyway, you go to meetings because you have to.”
”A worthless drunk.” (0:03)

Victor tells Paul, “I had a friend who quit.”
Paul: “Quit alcohol?”
Victor: “No, quit AA.”
”She came back from a meeting.”
Paul: “Do you think an addict can ever move on.”
Victor: “See, my friend had come to see an addiction to AA as far more sinister, far more threatening, than her dependence on alcohol. She felt they were... sustaining her in a state of suspended anxiety...”
Paul: “In that case I don’t believe she was alcoholic.”
”An alcoholic has no self respect.”
”I don’t believe she was addictive in the first place.”
Victor: “It seems to me you have a problem with self-esteem.” (0:13)

Paul tells Victor’s wife Elsa, “Your recovery. You want to recover.”
”I’m beginning to clean up. I’m sober.”
Elsa: “One day at a time.
Paul: “I’ve been to 50 thousand... meetings, and I deserve a break... The reason being, Clem says, is that you were a drunk...”
Paul: “She says, ‘... You were so much more interesting when you were drunk.”
”AA is my sole hope.”
Elsa, referring to Victor: “When he met me I was a drunk.”
Paul: “Victor said you used to go to meetings.”
Paul: “I’m asking if you’re clean.”
”They tell you at the meetings... never to go hungry.”
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.”
”I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I can’t write. I’m blocked.”
”Sorry, you’re endangering my recovery.”
Elsa: “I was 25, an idiot, coked out of my head.”
”Paul, you’re not addicted to alcohol. You‘re addicted to blame.”
”I’ve been dry for a year... I go to meetings.” (0:20)

AA meeting.
Alcoholic: “I think about the fifth step and admitting the wrongs.” (0:30)

Paul: “I was a recovering alcoholic.” (0:30)

Victor tells Elsa, “Something in the mood of the evening, perhaps.”
Victor tells Paul, referring to Elsa, “She was smashed.”
Paul tells Elsa, “They tell you at the meetings, it’s the golden rule: At all costs, avoid stress.” (0:36)

Elsa: “Victor, are you drunk?”
Paul relapses with one drink which leads to more. (0:41)

Paul: “There are always a thousand reasons to drink... That’s one of the things about being an alcoholic.” (0:46)

Elsa tells Paul, “You’re drunk.”
Paul: “I wouldn’t say I was drunk.”
”I’m in AA... I’m an alky.”
Elsa: “You really can’t write when you’re dry?”
”I was an international junkie.”
She tells Paul her father was “A drunk.” (0:46)

Paul admits to Victor that he lies about his drinking “compulsively.”
Victor: “So tell me, Paul, how do you explain this current passion for addiction?”
Hitler had faith... Wouldn’t that just mean you’re mad?”
Victor asks Elsa, “Would Mozart match your mood right now?”
Paul: “I have to go to a meeting.”
Elsa: “Of course you’re depressed.” (0:58)

Paul tells Elsa, “Look at his mood...”
”No, it’s addiction. We’re addicted to trouble.” (1:01)

Victor: “It’s a business for obsessives, they say...”
Paul: “In fact, I’m feeling a bit of an idiot.”
”I thought of the many nights we’d passed, she shaking from the agony of addiction...” (1:03)

Paul, referring to Victor: “His blood was three times over the permitted alcohol level.” (1:10)

Paul attends an AA meeting. (1:12)