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No Smoking

John Abraham, Ayesha Takia, Paresh Rawal, Ranvir Shorey, Gajraj Rao, Kiku Sharda, Joy Fernandes
Bob Fosse | Adolf Hitler | marijuana | nicotine | tobacco
Spoiler alert
Blog entry

Opening title: “A thousand people stop smoking every day, by dying. Smoking kills.” (0:00)

By telephone businessman "K" tells his wife Anjali, “Cigarette... “
Anjali: "Cigarette?”
K: ”I need a cigarette.” (0:02)

A man tells K, “You’re so addicted to nicotine. You fear the day when you won’t get a cigarette.”
Anjali asks him, “Why the hell do you smoke in the bathroom?” (0:07)

Man: “When some nut decides to clamber up Mount Everest, the world stands up to cheer him.” (0:10)

Her girlfriend tells Anjali, “Even Vikas used to smoke. I made him quit. (0:11)

His friend Abbas tells K, referring to a stranger, “Idiot man.”
Anjali asks Abbas, “You quit smoking?” (0:14)

Handing Anjali a card, Abbas tells her, “It’s a rehabilitation program.”
Anjali: “You don’t feel the urge...” (0:16)

Anjali tells K, referring to the card, “It’s a rehabilitation program.”
”They helped Abbas kick the habit.” (0:19)

A doctor tells K, “There’s this company... rehabilitation program.”
”It’s a 100% smoke proof program... addictions...” (0:22)

A woman calls K, “Stupid, idiot.” (0:24)

By telephone K asks Abbas, “Don’t you crave for it...” (0:26)

By telephone Abbas tells a rehab call center worker, referring to K, “I want to send you another patient.”
Worker: “As soon as your referred patient signs his contract, you’ll get your cut-back...” (0:26)

Guru Baba Bengali tells K, “Whoever steps in here not only stubs his addiction, but completely buries it, my son... cigarettes... tobacco...”
Referring to the contract: ”If you feel the compulsion to read an abridged version, we have that too.” (0:36)

Baba Bengali: “Welcome to the first stage of our quit smoking program... If we fail to deliver, and are unsuccessful in treating you, then we have no option left, but to send you down the road no sane person would walk on.”
Referring to K’s check: “Fees for your own treatment.”
”The money you’ve parted with will be utilized in your own treatment.”
(0:39) Baba tells K, “... then you graduated to pot, and once after smoking some spurious weed you nearly went up in smoke yourself... the treatment is in your hands.”
”I treat patients...”
”Your treatment has begun.”
”Once upon a time lived a man called Hitler.”
Baba shows a picture of Hitler.
K tells Baba, “You’re absolutely insane.” (0:44)

K, by telephone: “I think you’re losing it, doctor.” (0:56)

His secretary Annie tells K, “You seem stressed.”
K: “I think I’m going crazy.” (1:03)

By telephone Abbas tells K, referring to Baba, “He’s a crazed lunatic...” (1:04)

Abbas: “K, have you lost it?” (1:07)

K tells Annie, “I mean if I don’t have a clue where I’m headed, there’s no way in hell that descendant of Hitler would.” (1:10)

K lights a cigarette (1:11)

Club name over stage: “The bob fosse” (1:17)

By telephone, his friend Alex tells K, “I’m back with a... bong.” (1:21)

Alex holds the mouthpiece of a hookah.
K tells him, “I’ve quit.” (1:21)

Responding to a detective, K refers to Baba as “Hitler’s bastard child.” (1:27)

One of Baba’s staff tells the other, referring to K, “Idiot.” (1:30)

Talking to a detective, K refers to Baba as “That Hitler spawned son of a bitch, Guruji.” (1:32)

K’s brother J jumps from a roof then stands in front of a truck. Finally, he electrocutes himself.
The detective tells K, “Your brother just killed himself.”
K, referring to his brother, “He committed suicide because I smoked a cigarette.”(1:36)

K beats his head against the cell bars. (1:40)

K hears Baba’s voice: “In this lab It’s our responsibility to make you kick your extreme craving for the cancer stick, and if we fail to deliver, then we have no option left but to send you down the road no sane person would walk on...” (1:56)