Airplane II: The Sequel

A space alien answers the telephone operator: “Phone home, phone home.” (0:03)

Business man Bob tells an associate, "Don’t worry about the Viatex account..." (0:04)

His computer operator fiance Elaine Dickinson answers officer Simon Kurtz, "I’m still worried about the shuttle..." 
Kurtz: ”Was the program’s top test pilot, until his mental breakdown. Sweetheart, the opinion of a madman doesn’t impress me...” (0:08)

Sign: "RONALD REAGAN HOSPITAL FOR THE MENTALLY ILL" 
Attendants beat a patient. 
A doctor tells a patient’s brother, referring to the patient,: ”... He still thinks he’s an accountant.” 
Lettering on nurse’s back: ”I [heart] SANITY” 
Psychiatrist Dr. Franklin Stone tells patient Ted Striker, ”... the first step on the road to mental hygiene is admitting that you’re sick.” 
”The man’s obviously crazy...” 
Striker: ”... After the war I couldn’t go near anything with a pair of wings...”
All the men place the muzzles of revolvers against their heads as though to kill themselves.
Guns fire off camera. (0:09)

The Sarge tells technician Jack, "... A one way ticket to the funny farm..." (0:13, 1:20)

Sign: "RONALD REAGAN HOSPITAL FOR THE MENTALLY ILL"
Striker elopes. (0:13)

Bomber Joe Seluchi reads PSYCHO MONTH magazine. (0:21)

Young Jimmy Wilson asks his father John, "No more kids yelling ‘Your old man’s a psychopathic sex pervert’?" (0:22)

A woman passenger tells her husband, "... You were so nervous about meetin’ my mama..." 
”... and you got hold of that bad acid and didn’t come down...” (0:22)

Witness: "... didn’t trip, but the folks was freakin’..." (0:26)

Another passenger smacks Mrs. Hammen in the face, then a doctor and a nun smack her.. (0:27)

The attorney, Judge D. L. Simonton and the court reporter smack Mrs. Hammen.
Court reporter: ”Bailiff, Valium.” (0:28)

Elaine tells Simonton, referring to Striker, "... He was obsessed with that shuttle..." 
Simonton: ”At the request of this court, Mr. Striker has undergone a psychiatric examination...” (0:29)

Stone answers the prosecutor: "... My training is in psychiatry." 
Prosecutor: ”... was Ted Striker competent to fly and land that shuttle?” 
Stone: ”The defendant suffers from chronic psychological stress...” 
”... he is... in need of treatment.” 
Simonton: ”... this court recommends that you be confined to an institution for treatment...” 
Elaine faints. (0:30)

Striker tells Elaine, "Then you do think I’m insane." 
Elaine: ”I’d never use the word ‘insane’.” (0:33)

Striker recalls Stone’s words: “The defendant suffers from chronic psychological stress...” 
Striker: ”... Maybe I am cracking up.” (0:37)

Captain Clarence Oveur tells Elaine and flight attendant Mary, "Don’t panic..." 
Mary: ”Captain, what should we do if the passengers start to panic.” 
Oveur: ”Don’t worry about me.” (0:38)

Sign: "DON’T PANIC"
Sign: ”OKAY, PANIC” 
Elaine tells the passengers, ”... There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.” (0:40)

Flight control officer: "Ever since Reagan fired the controllers he’s been completely senile." 
Officer #2: ”Pretty much the same as Reagan.” (0:40)

Passenger tells his wife, "... I was unfaithful to you, just once." 
Wife: ”... I was unfaithful too.” (0:41)

Oveur falls unconscious. (0:43)

Elaine: "Don’t be a fool, Simon..." (0:44)

Scene from The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923) (0:45)

Elaine tells Ted, "You overcame your drinking problem..." 
”... maybe... they should take all the ‘sane’ people off the streets and lock them up and let all the psychopaths out of the asylums to run the world...” (0:46)

Striker punches Kurtz in the face. (0:48)

Striker tells Elaine, "Don’t worry about a thing..." (0:49)

A mission control worker punches another in the face. (0:50, 1:21)

One mission control worker appears to sell a bag of marijuana to another. (0:52)

By radio, Striker tells Chief Controller Steve McCroskey, "... The fire in the core made the computer go berserk..." (0:53)

Brawl with head injuries (0:54)

Newspaper headline: "MAN HAS SEX CHANGE..." (0:54)

Talk-show guest: "... we’re working to raise the consciousness of the vegetarian minorities with diet sensitivity training..." (0:55)

Homicide detective Hallick tells McCloskey, "One of your passengers... might be suicidal." 
”... Something to do with sexual impotence.” 
”... Mrs. Salucci thinks he might be suicidal, so we had the boys in psychiatry do a profile on him.” 
”That’s why we’re worried... This clown’s impotent, suicidal...” (0:55)

Striker tells Salucci, "... No one has to know you’re impotent." (0:59)

McCloskey, by radio: "Striker, you gotta be crazy..." (1:00)

Striker tells Elaine, "Simon was a fool to eject now." (1:03)

McCloskey appears intoxicated: “... courage... pride...” 
He falls unconscious. (1:04)

Elaine smokes a roach using a roach clip. (1:06)

Flight attendant: "... there’s nothing to worry about." (1:07)

Moon base Commander Buck Murdock: "Rorschach, what do you got?" 
Rorschach, handing Murdock test cards: ”We’ve run these tests, sir.” 
Murdock tells Lt. Pervis what he sees on the cards. 
Murdock: ”Rorschach, get me a complete file on everyone who’s seen The Sound of Music more than four times...” (1:09)

A robotic boxing glove punches Striker in the face. (1:15)

A man tells disembarking passengers, "... We’re with the Church of Lunar Consciousness..." (1:19)

Stone answers the prosecutor: "... My training is in psychiatry." (1:21)